Ironing Out the Kinks
Review written by Robert D. Patrick
Starring: Robert Downey, Jr, Don Cheadle
Robert Downey Jr, draped in an egotistical, incisor flashing smile, surfs his fingers over the visage of an Audi that has the color of a blue jay’s plumage. The master thespian lowers his sunglasses, tilts his head down like a craning viper, [...]
A Penny for Your Thought; A Nichols for Your Bliss
Review written by Tom Bevis
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sheridan
I’m thinking right now that it’s a shame more people won’t go see Mud. Some people will see Matthew McConaughey on the poster and write it off right then and there. Others will read the reviews and assume [...]
Bad Taste: The Movie
Review written by Tom Bevis
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg
Spoiler Alert: Pain & Gain is bad. Irredeemably bad. Bad in every sense of the word.
I try not to make these kinds of judgment calls when reviewing movies, but it is unavoidable to review this movie without making mention of how severely, irreversibly, unavoidably, [...]
In 2008, I interviewed the mercurial, outspoken, often times wonky Matthew Friedberger of The Fiery Furnaces for The East County Herald newspaper. Here, in its entirety, is the clunky, humorous, sometimes incendiary transcript of the exchange I had with Matthew. Known for their staccato production, esoteric lyrics, plunking pianos and rarely middling subject matter, The [...]
Brigitte Berman, whose last full-length documentary was nearly twenty-five years ago, took home the Oscar for her look at the prolific Artie Shaw. Since then she has culled drama from her fingertips by creating fiction. Now, almost three decades later, the Canadian filmmaker releases a feature-length documentary that took three-years to make. A kaliedescope of [...]
Starring: Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman
Review written by Tom Bevis
I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking you really like sci-fi movies, and it’s been just so long since you saw a good one. But, hot damn, you don’t like Tom Cruise or movies that look like they’re ripping off any sci-fi movie from The Matrix to The Postman.
Well, the simple solution here is to just swallow whatever doubts you may have and go buy a ticket to Oblivion.
You gotta believe me when I say Oblivion is one of the best sci-fi flicks I’ve seen in a while. In years, probably. It’s got action, but the film doesn’t overly rely on it. It’s got enough romance to constitute a story but not enough to bore me to tears. It’s got just that right amount of science to seem justifiable but not enough to seem like I’m stuck in freshman physics again. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Oblivion is a good, good movie.
That isn’t to say that it’s not a silly sci-fi film, because it is. This movie has more than enough ridiculous “man, I know that doesn’t seem like it would be true, but hey, this is a movie and I’m having fun” moments, but everything in the picture works so well and the film moves fast enough for you to get over it with the course of the action.
Now, it’s is kind of like The Matrix.
Okay, you’re pretty smart: it’s a lot like The Matrix, from the nature of its science-fiction roots to Morgan Freeman playing a character that might as well be Morpheus (I mean, they just stole from The Matrix’s unused wardrobe for his costume, didn’t they?), there’s a lot of The Matrix in this movie. But you know what? This movie is just as fast and just as fun as the original Wachowski’s film was, so I don’t see too much of a problem with that.
This is where you’re all thinking that I must be mad. This movie is starring Tom Cruise! That can’t be a good sign, can it?
While I’m not really a Tom Cruise fan – which is to say that his presence in a movie is typically enough to avoid it until it reaches rental status – this isn’t a typical Tom Cruise movie. He doesn’t play the same impossible-to-stop-look-at-me-I-can-do-anything character. He’s less plastic here, slightly more emotive. This film is a good vehicle for him because it allows him to loosen up and doesn’t require too much heavy lifting on his part. He’s not only tolerable here, but he’s perfect in this role. This movie may as well have been made for him.
And, can I just say, this movie is astoundingly beautiful! It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen a movie in IMAX and actually thought that it was justified. This movie ranges from extremely and exceedingly bright and brilliant to woefully dingy and dull with all the realism Hollywood could muster, and, I basically have to say, it is just gorgeous. From long, sweeping environmental shots to close, shiny actions sequences with robots and space ships and other cool sci-fi stuff, this movie meets the standard for beautiful camerawork.
And the CGI – it’s impossible to ignore it here in this movie, but it’s so well crafted, so artistically integrated into the fabric of the film that you can’t even notice it outside of the real stuff. I mean, it’s not intrusive or insulting in any manner, as we all know CGI can be in sci-fi movies. It’s the perfect amount used in the perfect way to create a stable, solid, easy to consume brainless sci-fi film that the masses demand and just about anyone can have fun with.
Oblivion was made for gamers. I’m not going to lie: every time the camera scoped down the sight of a gun, I was wishing in the bottom of my soul for a good licensed video game from this production. Hell, even if it’s a bad licensed video game from this film, if it has just a quarter of this movie’s fun and beauty, yeah, I’ll drink the Kool-Aide. Even the ship’s controls in this film looked like a perfect, non-obtrusive heads-up display in a flight simulator.
If you’re contemplating whether you should actually make it out to a theater this weekend or if you should just watch 2001: A Space Odyssey for posterity, I urge you to put on your shoes and get out to see this one. Drive-in, multiplex, single-screen cinema, whatever you have, just see this movie.
Borrowing a Blu Ray in the Digital Age
Written by Robert D. Patrick
Sinking like a downed merchant marine vessel into a sea of pillowy cushions, I must look, from a faraway glance, like a disheveled mop head. It’s been years since I’ve seen Milos Forman’s Amadeus, and what I remember most is the tickling, mad hatter [...]
The Rock Versus Bruce Willis (Not Really)
Review written by Tom Bevis
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum
Let me begin by saying that I didn’t see the first GI Joe film way back when (in or around 2009, if my memory serves me), so I have no frame of reference as far as a sequel goes. So, [...]
Lore of War
Review written by Robert D. Patrick
Starring: Saskia Rosendahl, Kai Malina
WWII has been a sandbox for filmmakers to tell their stories in since the last shell of the war pockmarked the earth in the forties. In Lore, like many, many other films of the genre, the second world war, and its aftermath, is seen [...]
I wanted to confirm my suspicions that Pootie Tang was indeed relegated to hatred and disgust prior to writing this column. Yes, I am that delusional about this film… according to others. I browsed to a certain spoiled produce aggregator and saw a resounding 26% approval, lauded as dismal, and completely admonished by various critics. [...]
A new column written by Kyle Henke that argues against critical viewpoints shared by many. Was the movie really awful or actually great? Is the actor playing the role amazingly while being shamed for the script? Lets find out.
Julie Klausner’s anecdotal, razor-sharp wit has branded everything from television shows to an autobiographical memoir. Bubble wrap snark and cultural observations stirred by cocktail swords, Klausner always has something new in her book bag. Her show, How Was Your Week?, was earmarked by Rolling Stone Magazine as one of the top [...]
In 2008, I interviewed the mercurial, outspoken, often times wonky Matthew Friedberger of The Fiery Furnaces for The East County Herald newspaper. Here, in its entirety, is the clunky, humorous, sometimes incendiary transcript of the exchange I had with Matthew. Known for their staccato production, esoteric lyrics, plunking pianos and rarely middling subject matter, The [...]
Fuzzy, dirty, rollicking guitar riffs that feel like you’re being bludgeoned with a pillowcase full of Pop Rocks and fireworks. Ethereal and airy vocals that perforate the buzzing instruments. Lou Reed sunglasses and some jagged abandon define the mercurial, sonic, who-gives-a-fuck offerings of Colleen Green. With her newest record, Milo Goes to Compton, the barbed [...]
Andrew Kenny’s achingly ethereal voice whittles away your preconceptions about what a band, emotionally, is capable of doing. The singer-songwriter has been a workhorse when it comes to traveling coast-to-coast – he has done it practically nonstop – throughout his career; if you tracked the flight lines across the United States it would look like [...]
Listening to Freezepop is akin to watching a rainbow perform harakiri; neon colors jut out everywhere. The band’s sound is a dichotomy of saccharine and cyanide, a swandive into a pool of glitter and reverb. Freezepop’s lead singer, the multitalented Liz Enthusiasm, pulls back snarky syllables with the bowstrings of her lips as she feathers [...]
Motopony’s frontman, Daniel Blue, lulls out achingly barrel-aged vocals on the band’s self-titled record. The airy and yet splintered delivery of Blue is reminiscent of Neil Young’s rasp and Bon Iver’s maimed whispers. The salted-emotions of Blue and company aren’t epigenuous as they seem, and, by merit of their minimalist compositions, crawl and brood under [...]
Wild Beasts’ lyrics aren’t stymied by cloyingly banal word choices, instead they are aplomb with unique textures and colorful petals. And while the band’s lyrics can be pleasantly barbed, the delivery of the words, sung with aloof playfulness and sometimes even carnaptious snark, come off as fascinating as they are multilayered and rich. Wild Beasts’ [...]
Adam Goldberg’s Rolodex of films is so vast that if you flipped through it you would hear the sound of a hummingbird’s wings. The forty-year-old thespian, producer, director, musician and general jack of all trades is the entertainment version of a Swiss army knife set to overdrive. But Goldberg does them all well. From rocking [...]
Chaotic and composed, in a world full full of cackling unrest and marred melodies, comes Women, a band from Calgary that is hauntingly ethereal. Their debut album was crosshatched with airy-reverberations and distorted instrumentation. Chris Reimer and company create a landscape of flickering memories and weathered musical notes. On their newest record, “Public [...]
Bear In Heaven’s album “Beast Rest Forth Mouth” is a kaleidoscope of detached drums and ethereal vocals. The chaotic symphony pouring from your speakers sounds like a swelling of marred beauty and yellowed memories of adolescence. Jon Philpot, the lead vocalist of the Brooklyn band, channels an otherworldly voice that wafts and ducks throughout the [...]
I was a child of the ‘80s and ‘90s, and as a result I was weaned on action movies, particularly the glorious works of Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and, OF COURSE, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Watching these films still imbues me with a sort of visceral delight, an upsurge of joy and contentment within the universe.
I [...]
I was thrilled this weekend when I glanced through a $3.99 movie bin at Albertson’s and pulled out the most random inclusion I could find: Volume One of the 1966-7 Japanese TV show ULTRAMAN: A SPECIAL EFFECTS FANTASY SERIES. One look at the cover art and I knew I’d be in for a treat.
A quick glance [...]
We’ve all got our little pet peeves when it comes to movies and television. Sometimes it stems from our areas of expertise (“Well I’M a fighter pilot and there’s no way I’d do it like that”) or sometimes we just learn some trivia and can never look at those troublesome scenes the same way [...]
Review by Sam Wood
Jon Mikl Thor, the Legendary Rock Warrior, has had an expansive career spanning back to 1973 and continuing on in the present day. According to his VERY self-aggrandizing website, “THOR first made waves in the bodybuilding world, becoming Mr. Canada and Mr. USA, always using heavy music as an intensive training [...]
My little column turns twenty posts old today, and what better way to celebrate than by reviewing the most ridiculously sleazy Hong Kong exploitation film I have ever seen?
“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” exemplifies the concept of a guilty pleasure film. It is as hilarious as it is disgusting. The first time I watched it [...]
I was puttering around the Box Office Mojo website recently and came across an interesting comparison: the domestic box office gross of films about U.S. presidents. This includes documentaries, fictionalized accounts, and accounts that are entirely fictional in the first place.
Here are the fifteen top-performing presidential films (rounded to the nearest million):
Independence Day – 300 [...]
In lieu of an article this week I thought I’d provide something special for all the procrastinators out there.
If you haven’t sent out Christmas cards this year, but you vaguely intended to do so, and now you’re looking at the calendar and realizing there is no way in hell they would arrive in time: [...]
From the moment the title screen flew at my face, I knew I was in for something special. And I was right! “Solarbabies” is not just special, it is exceptional, mind-blowing, earth-shattering (sometimes literally). The movie has a whopping 0% approval rating on Rottentomatoes (though in its defense there are only 10 [...]
Guys, I have a confession to make. I am really excited about the upcoming “Cowboys and Aliens.” Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell? Um, cowboys fighting aliens?
I’m a little nervous though, because often when Hollywood raises my expectations with a fun concept they are planning some prank to dash it all away [...]
I was initially planning to do another B-Movie review this week, but decide to do an old-school movie review instead. There’s a fine distinction between them sometimes, but in this case I couldn’t classify the film in question as B-grade material. Mostly it’s just… horrible. Plain horrible. Just not due to [...]
