Cloud Atlas
‘The Hours’ for Dudes Review written by Robert Patrick Starring: Tom Hanks, Jim Sturgess Cloud Atlas is a mosaic of ideas and ethereal existentialism – Imagine Southland Tales as told by David Lean. A warbly narrative slap-chopped by kinetic editing and sterile looking set designs, The Wachowski siblings – plus Tom Tykwer – create a phantasmagoria of images that look something like Mel Gibson’s...
The Bourne Legacy
Matt Damon Is Not In This Film Starring: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz Review written by Andrew Younger With all the bait-and-switch bravado of a carnival barker, The Bourne Legacy writer-director Tony Gilroy does his damnedest to project wayward star Matt Damon’s titular hero onto the blank canvas of Jeremy Renner. And much like a carnival sideshow, the resulting experience ends in disappointment. The film opens with a retread of the...
The Dark Knight Rises
Where’s the Batmobile?! Starring: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy Review written by Robert Patrick The brooding, downtrodden, emotionally eviscerated Bruce Wayne we have become so familiar with in the universally heralded Christopher Nolan reboot finds himself even worse off in The Dark Knight Rises, the final pillar in the Batman franchise’s acropolis. Since the barbed events of the last film, the masked crusader has hung up...
21 Jump Street
Spoiler Alert: It’s Good Review written by Robert Patrick Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum 21 Jump Street’s wonky, bombastic action premise is ramped up with crude jokes and staccato delivery. These aforementioned comedy tropes bring to mind the barbed brains of directors such as Todd Phillips and Adam McKay. Strangely, 21 Jump Street is directed by the duo held responsible for Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, the...
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Not Angelina Jolie in ‘Hackers 2’ Starring: Rooney Mara, the android Daniel Craig Review written by Robert Patrick Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Series, a trilogy of books about the androgynous computer hacker and razor-tongued counterculture herionne Lisbeth Salander, began with the Swedish author’s first installment of the franchise, dubbed “The Men Who Hate Women.” That book, which sounds like...
Point Blank
Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife Starring: Gilles Lellouche, Roschdy Zem Review by Robert Patrick “Point Blank” is the ground beef of the meat market, if we’re measuring quality, and there is little doubt that the film borrows everything from “The Bourne Identity” and “Run Lola Run” to Sega’s Sonic the Hedgehog. “Point Blank” has a pretty standard plot: nurse’s pregnant...
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Scarier than Dunston Checks In Starring: James Franco, CGI Review written by Robert Patrick You get the impression that “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is less a movie and more of a trailer, especially considering, when all is said and done, that the film sets the table for an innumerable amount of sequels and prequels. Not much happens in “Rise,” until the very end of the picture, and we’re left to wait for the next installment of...
The Green Hornet
Introducing Kato And His Sidekick Starring: Seth Rogan, Jay Chou Review by Sam Wood I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m not usually a Seth Rogen fan. For whatever reason his brand of comedy hasn’t done much for me. I’ll also add that, given my age, I did not listen to the Green Hornet radio show in the ‘30s and ‘40s, nor did I watch the short-lived television show in the ‘60s. So, all of that being said, I was pleasantly...
Tron: Legacy
Right Click, Delete Starring: Jeff Bridges, Jeff Bridges Written by Robert Patrick “Tron: Legacy” is about a videogame programmer (Jeff Bridges), who launches into the world of his game, never gets out, and antagonizes his son, unintentionally, by leaving a portal open so that his offspring can get into the digital universe. And what a universe it is! If anyone remembers the original “Tron”, you will be familiar with the idea that...
The Tourist
The Director Packed Lightly Starring: Johnny Depp. Angelina Jolie Written by Sam Wood The poster for this film promises two things: Depp and Jolie. And I cannot deny that the film does indeed feature Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie! They are in nearly every scene. They walk around. They speak. They make goo-goo eyes. In this sense, the film succeeds admirably in its intentions. The trailer, however, promises a bit more. It’s a...
