Listen To Me Marlon
Re-branding a Legend Review written by Robert D. Patrick As of late, documentaries seem to be tiring of the Ken Burns batting stance. Panning over pictures, ad nauseam, will not suffice. Audiences are younger and less adept to the vibrating string scores and mousy historians of old. With Kurt Cobain: About a Son, Montage of Heck, and now, with director Stevan Riley’s Listen To Me Marlon, directors are beginning to use the...
American Sniper
Through the Scope Clint Eastwood’s newest opus, based on the life of America’s most technically proficient sniper, is smeared with charcoal and flecked with blood. The late marksman in question, Chris Kyle, served his country with pride. Eastwood’s geographic devotion shadows that very theme, bringing the sweat and teeth-gnashing sacrifice of military service into the fray with overcast results. The typical, almost...
Unbroken
Dad Bait: The Movie Starring: Jack O’Connoll, Takamasa Ishihara Review written by Robert D. Patrick Chapped, sun-braised lips and unbridled suffering? It must be December, because the saliva slacked maws and welted skin is in full effect just in time for Oscar season. Clint Eastwood’s Unbroken – – – I mean Ron Howard’s Unbroken – – – I mean Angelina Jolie’s Unbroken is a...
Hitchcock
Presenting Hitch; Not the Will Smith Film Review written by Robert Patrick Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren The bulbous frame and bulldog-jowls of the master of suspense are about as well-known as the Campbell’s soup can or Edvard Munch’s “The Scream”. The director’s suit, an emulsion of black and white, was always there to greet the audience. Alfred Hitchcock was a brand. The portly silhouette and...
Lincoln
James Spader Dons Arcane Mustache; Day-Lewis Barks Review written by Robert Patrick Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Sally Field Abe Lincoln is always portrayed as a sentient block of wood. Here, in Spielberg’s take on the lionized president, he remains intrepid and warmly enigmatic. Daniel Day-Lewis’ voice crackles like a bed of embers as his wiry, tall frame slinks around from office to house. Day-Lewis’ portrayal of...
J. Edgar
Does this Movie Come with an Ejection Seat? Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts Review written by Robert Patrick Warner Brothers should have renamed J. Edgar “Watch Clint Eastwood Fall Asleep at the Wheel”. This historical biopic about the advent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation is terse, rife with plasticity, and about as warm as an insulated container of liquid hydrogen. Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, in an...
Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975
The Revolution In Fragments Starring: Angela Davis, Stokely Carmichael Review written by Robert Patrick Director Göran Olsson’s documentary, The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975, has a clunky, cumbersome title; the name is like a topiary that needs reshaping. Something with more steely brevity, clenched fist punctuality would be more fitting of this snapshot of the Black Power movement in America. Olsson’s thoughtful doc is...
Moneyball
Archival Footage and Concentrated Brooding Starring: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill Review written by Robert Patrick If I had said that there would be a movie released this year about sulking and computer screens, you would probably predict that the film was about a depressed teenager glued to his PC. Alas, the fog has lifted and instead it is about baseball and grown men. Michael Lewis, the author of The Blind Side, penned Moneyball, a movie...
The King’s Speech
Colin Firth: The New Whimsy Starring: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush Written by Robert Patrick I wanted the title of this review to be “Colin Firth is Adorable; Makes Doe-Eyed Expressions”, but then I thought I could also go with “English People Look Regal; Walk Around Haplessly”. I decided against both, but managed, despite it being entirely inconsequential, to shoehorn them in the actual review. Typically films dealing with historic...
The Fighter
Bale Good; Wahlberg Bad Starring: Christian Bale, Mark Wahlberg Written by Robert Patrick Boxing movies always seem to contain a certain formula. This formula, like motor oil, helps the engine run better, more efficiently. You always need a woman, who apprehensively suggests that you should go for your goals, though she is quietly pulling out her nails as if her teeth were the claw of a construction hammer. Your character should also...
