The International
Suits Make for Better Mobility in Chase Sequences Starring: Clive Owen, Naomi Watts By Robert Patrick In recent memory, I cannot remember a time when more people wanted to openly launch torches at banks in the United States. Director Tom Tykwer, in handing out kerosene to the masses with the strategy of an expert rebel rouser, creates a world rife with even more deceit, greed, and malevolence than it currently has in our present age....
Azur & Asmar: The Princes’ Quest
I cant seem to remember an animated feature that’s more ineffably difficult to watch than director Michel Ocelot’s Azur & Asmar: The Princes’ Quest. The story, dealing with archetypical children’s themes such as tolerance, friendship, and honesty, has its heart in the right place, but fails at much else. The computer animation looks cold and wooden, with its characters painted in chalky pastels, moving unnaturally to each...
Taken
More Exciting Than Kinsey Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace By Robert Patrick “I can tell you I don’t have money,” Liam Neeson tells his daughters captors, using the baritone hum of his voice to speak calmly into a receiver. “But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.” And with that composed suggestion of vengeance, so...
The Uninvited
You’ve Got Ghosts Starring: Emily Browning, Elizabeth Banks By Tom Bevis No one loves a good ghost movie better than I do. But so far, 2009 hasn’t been good to horror fans, serving up offerings like The Unborn and My Bloody Valentine (3D or otherwise), so I think most informed viewers are a bit skeptical when walking into The Uninvited. And why not? The trailers only show us a schizophrenic array or concepts and only give us...
The Unborn
The Epic Tale of Family Versus Ghost Starring: Odette Yustman and Gary Oldman Let’s get the ball rolling in 2009 with horror. The Unborn is written and directed by David S. Goyer, co-writer of The Dark Knight. So, I know what you’re thinking. The Dark Knight was a pretty good movie, and another Dark Knight alum, Gary Oldman, is working in The Unborn as well. So it can’t be that bad of a movie… right? Well, you’re wrong. The...
Gran Torino
Maintaining an Active Lifestyle for Seniors Starring: Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang Clint Eastwood must be full of regrets. After five decades in film, the towering American icon seems resigned to play the role of a man whose best days are behind him. Estranged from his children and his church, Eastwood’s Walt Kowalski is a former fighter in need of something to fight for—essentially reconstructing the same character he inhabited in...
The Spirit
A Pale Ghost of Comic Book Cliches Starring: Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson By Tom Bevis Let’s talk about comic books. They have survived the test of time to become a genuine and distinct artistic medium and narrative form, and the fact that they cater to a sheltered and extremely limited audience only makes this much more impressive. The medium has developed its own mode of narrative transportation (called sequential story...
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
I can imagine that, in a haze of inebriation and jazz music, philanthropist and socialite F. Scott Fitzgerald dipped his pen against a bushel of papers, scribbling what would become a short story of epic proportions. The piece in question, known as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, was published in 1922. That year flappers lounged about, christening their lips with alcohol, and Clara Bow bounced around looking for Hollywood...
The Day the Earth Stood Still
IMAX Has Never Been Less Impressive Starring: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly By Robert Patrick Director Scott Derrickson’s The Day the Earth Stood Still, a remake of the supposed 1950s sci-fi classic, is conceptually boiling over with thoughts and ideas. Originally conceived as a way for screenwriter Edmund H. North to wax philosophical about the hyper-violent nature of human beings, The Day the Earth Stood Still became canonized as...
Punisher: War Zone
A Lesson in Violence Starring: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West By Tom Bevis In 2004, Marvel Studios said that the follow up to that year’s Punisher starring Thomas Jane would be the fifth Marvel property to become a sequel.Instead, Punisher: War Zone became the latest franchise reboot in the field of comic book adaptations, a trend that started with 2005’s Batman Begins.While these reboots aren’t always bad (2008’s The Incredible Hulk...
