The Housemaid
Feb18

The Housemaid

Monetarily Affluent, Emotionally Bankrupt Starring: Jeon Do-yeon, Lee Jung-jae Review by Robert Patrick “The Housemaid” is melodramatic, bound by eroticism, and vehemently suspenseful. Instead of popcorn you should bring worry beads into the theater. Director Im Sang-Soo lacquers his film with thick, sturdy strokes of emotionally dystopian themes. Our central character, Eun-yi (Jeon Do-yeon), isn’t narrow-minded as...

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Black Swan
Dec10

Black Swan

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls Starring: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis Written by Robert Patrick Director Darren Aronofsky likes to strap his characters onto a psychological torture rack. In Aronofksy’s newest picture, a tapestry of shadows wrap around the body of Nina (Natalie Portman), an aspiring dancer who passive aggressively claws for the lead in Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake“. Because the movie is set in New York’s...

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Fair Game
Nov04

Fair Game

More Watery Eyes Than a Benedryl Ad Starring: Naomi Watts, Sean Penn Written by Robert Patrick When I saw the press screening of this film, nearly a month ago, I had taken a chisel to my hippocampus to make sure I remembered everything I needed to remember when swinging my fingers around on my keyboard and writing this review. I watched the film in a pose not unlike The Thinker, a statue by Auguste Rodin. The story was an...

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The Town
Sep17

The Town

Opening A Can in Beantown Starring: Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner By Robert Patrick I love Boston crime films. Everyone has a faded Red Sox hat on, some sort of sleeve tattoo of Ireland, and a gravy-tongued accent. Ben Affleck, whose career is marbled with more fat than a cheap cut of steak, only makes good films when they are set in the clover city of Massachusetts, his hometown. The less sociopathic Affleck brother is a pretty great...

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Wild Grass
Jul09

Wild Grass

Pretentiousness For Everyone! Starring: Andre Dussolier, Sabine Azema By Robert Patrick Legendary French director Alain Resnais is no doubt talented. The 88-year-old director has sewn numerous feathers into his cap with films such as “Night and Fog” and “Hiroshima Mon Amour.” Resnais’ palette has never been a dull one, with his brush dipping and weaving into the subconscious of man. The famed director’s newest work, “Wild Grass,” is...

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The Killer Inside Me
Jul05

The Killer Inside Me

If Patrick Bateman Were a Deputy… Starring: Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba By Robert Patrick Lou Ford tips his hat, as if to drain water from the brim, every time he meets someone. Ford is a deputy sheriff whose compact structure and waxy grin make him a seemingly generic authority figure in a small Texas town. But underneath his sheath of southern pleasantries and congenial mannerisms lies a man who has the moral compass of a...

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Star Trek
May08

Star Trek

The Wrath of Eric Bana Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto By Tom Bevis The black of space.  A massive alien vessel exits from a vortex and engages a much smaller ship in a firefight.  Bright flashes fill the screen as the two ships take part in a digitally choreographed battle of lights.  We glance into the smaller ship, we see the engine rooms as sparks fly and jets of flame shoot from the walls.  We feel the turbulence as the ship...

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The International
Feb13

The International

Suits Make for Better Mobility in Chase Sequences Starring: Clive Owen, Naomi Watts By Robert Patrick In recent memory, I cannot remember a time when more people wanted to openly launch torches at banks in the United States. Director Tom Tykwer, in handing out kerosene to the masses with the strategy of an expert rebel rouser, creates a world rife with even more deceit, greed, and malevolence than it currently has in our present age....

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Taken
Jan30

Taken

More Exciting Than Kinsey Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace By Robert Patrick “I can tell you I don’t have money,” Liam Neeson tells his daughters captors, using the baritone hum of his voice to speak calmly into a receiver. “But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.” And with that composed suggestion of vengeance, so...

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Doubt
Dec20

Doubt

Veil of Suspicion Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams By Colleen Dillon It seems that in life, the vast majority of all regret arises from decisions made without absolute certainty. Actions taken – or not taken – because we didn’t have all the evidence, or couldn’t properly interpret the evidence we did have, can plague us for lifetimes. Doubt, a film based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning...

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