Everyone was mostly waiting on that moment where we owed it to Leonardo DiCaprio to pay attention to his inevitable acceptance speech, but otherwise we couldn’t give a damn about the uneventful developments.
Am I saying Hollywood doesn’t favor certain actors over others? Of course not. If you think Bridge of Spies would have landed a Best Picture nod without Spielberg at the helm, I’ve got some gorgeous beachfront property in lower Iowa you might be interested in.
Every year at the Oscars, boredom inevitably sets in. You start nodding off, losing pallor, and begin to drift into the abyss like Leo at the end of the Titanic (does this still qualify as a spoiler? If so, tell me what it was like to thaw out like Brendan Fraser)