The Railway Man
A Train Called War Starring: Colin Firth, Nicole Kidman Review written by Tom Bevis “I have a small problem,” Eric Lomax (Colin Firth) tells his veteran cohorts in the crisp shade of a Veteran’s Club, “which I suspect this small gathering might find interesting.” Thus are the first spoken words of The Railway Man and many of its trailers. But the film has misled you. The Railway Man has led you to believe it will be a war-themed...
Lore
Lore of War Review written by Robert D. Patrick Starring: Saskia Rosendahl, Kai Malina WWII has been a sandbox for filmmakers to tell their stories in since the last shell of the war pockmarked the earth in the forties. In Lore, like many, many other films of the genre, the second world war, and its aftermath, is seen through the eyes of children. Some great films – Ivan’s Childhood, Closely Watched Trains and Empire of...
Kaboom
Stream of Consciousness Directing Yes, I am calling TRL so that they play Jared Leto’s newest single. Starring: Thomas Dekker, Haley Bennett Review by Robert Patrick Gregg Araki’s newest opus, “Kaboom”, is akin to being Rick Rolled by a lobotomized David Lynch. Nothing really makes sense in this film, aside from the fact that it has to do with a first year college student that, after taking some drugs, is...
The Men Who Stare at Goats
How to Make the Best Trailer for the Worst Movie Starring: George Clooney, Ewan McGregor By Robert Patrick The Men Who Stare at Goats is a zany, wonky, effortlessly bizarre film that rides the coattails of some very weird – and allegedly factual – information about the United States Army and its experimental exploits into alternative fighting. Much of the movie is plump with colorful anecdotes, off the wall action, and...
Flame & Citronen
How to Make a Cartoon Out of History Starring: Mads Mikkelsen, Thure Lindhardt By Robert Patrick Danish director, Ole Christian Madsen, races his fingers across the creased, water-stained pages of history to pluck the story of two resistance fighters, Flame and Citron, who stood as central pillars in the underground movement against Nazism in Denmark. And while Madsen’s directorial hymn to the fallen heroes of World War II is full of...
Inglourious Basterds
The Basterdization of World History Starring: Brad Pitt, Melanie Laurent By Robert Patrick By this time you’re probably well acquainted with the Basterds; commercials have been slashing past you, with indocility to volume and aesthetic, every time you pop a bowl of oatmeal into your microwave, turn on the television, and wake up in the morning. The legion of marketers are spinning the advertisements with the rapidness of a drum roll,...
12
Existential Hell Starring: Sergei Makovetsky, Sergei Garmash By Robert Patrick In the original 12 Angry Men, there was a sense of palpable fear. The jurors, knitted together with makeshift patchwork, were devoured by plumes of cigarette smoke, their fists were bolted to their chins in deep thought, and their tongues rapped against their mouths with the sound of machinegun fire. The original production, made in 1957 and starring Henry...
Che
Earnesto Goes to Bolivia Starring: Benicio Del Toro, Franka Potente By Robert Patrick At the time of his death, Earnesto “Che” Guevara was not a student of popular western history. If the revolutionary had been, he would’ve known to never ride into Bolivia with guns blazing – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid had tried this a good number of years earlier to no avail. Instead, Che found himself muscled in on by the Bolivian...
Defiance
Daniel Craig: Same Pose in Every Movie Starring: Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber By Robert Patrick The incessant rattling of a machinegun, now quiet for a brief moment of requiem, pours smoke from its heated barrel. Does the gun comprehend what it’s shooting at? We assume not; the weapon, after all, is cold and without means of comprehension. Director Edward Zwick’s film, Defiance, feels much the same; there are a lot of bullets whipping...
Waltz With Bashir
Standing at the fore of Israel’s burgeoning conscience, filmmaker and former Israeli Army soldier Ari Folman creates an intensely personal animated documentary regarding his complicity in the massacre at the Palestinian refugee camps of Sabra and Shatila in 1982 Lebanon—and in the process questions the moral fabric of a nation forged out of tragedy with devastating conclusions. A meeting with his childhood friend,...
