Goodbynes, Amanda…
By Robert Patrick Some of you may wonder why Cinema Spartan hasn’t posted any updates in three straight weeks. Some of you may be glad, while the largest percentage hasn’t even noticed. Well, for those of you who have been furrowing your brow over the lack of site content, your bewilderment as to why we haven’t been around much is about to be cured. Simply put, we are in mourning over Amanda Bynes retirement from acting. Amanda Bynes’...
Holy Rollers
I Want a New Drug Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Bartha By Robert Patrick Jesse Eisenberg’s persona is that of the skittish intellectual. His tongue sputters like the dying propeller of a old bi-plane whenever he attempts to make modest conversation. And he shares an uncanny, unshakable likeness to the more celebrated gawkiness of Michael Cera. Both have gangly builds, stutter while making quiet observations, and have...
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Journalism: Another Step into Looking Boring Starring: Michael Nyqvist, Noomi Rapace By Robert Patrick “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” is a mystery about a young woman, missing since the late nineteen-sixties, whose photograph finds itself sardonically perched against the weathered hands of one her family members. Where did she disappear to? To what fate did she meet? These blurred questions, posed by her uncle Henrik Vanger, an...
The White Ribbon
The Quiet is Worse than the Storm Starring: Christian Friedel, Ulrich Tuker By Robert Patrick The Golden Globes nominated, and then, without an ounce of justification, awarded “The White Ribbon” as the best foreign language film of 2009. This gives me shivers of terror. I’d go as far as to say, with total confidence, that “The White Ribbon” is the most painful film I’ve seen in sometime. To me, the pacing is non-existent. I’ve had...
The Lovely Bones
Where’s Robin Williams? Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Mark Wahlberg By Robert Patrick Everybody, no matter what the demographic, seems to be reading Alice Sebold’s surrealistic novel, The Lovely Bones. I’m pretty sure most households, especially since the film has been released, has at least one edition of the buoyant thriller on their bookshelf. The subject matter, dealing with the mercurial dreamscape of a murdered child, lost...
Sherlock Holmes
It was _____, In the Study, With Black Magic Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law By Tom Bevis Ladies and gentleman, Guy Ritchie has gone Hollywood, and his latest offering, Sherlock Holmes, is bleeding proof. The film boasts an undeniably mainstream cast, lead by one of America’s biggest stars today: Robert Downey, Jr. And the costar? Big-budget special effects, of course, things like explosions, bare-knuckle fist fights, a...
Flame & Citronen
How to Make a Cartoon Out of History Starring: Mads Mikkelsen, Thure Lindhardt By Robert Patrick Danish director, Ole Christian Madsen, races his fingers across the creased, water-stained pages of history to pluck the story of two resistance fighters, Flame and Citron, who stood as central pillars in the underground movement against Nazism in Denmark. And while Madsen’s directorial hymn to the fallen heroes of World War II is full of...
Whiteout
Snow, a Plane, and Something About a Murder Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Gabriel Macht By Tom Bevis Comic book adaptations are a hotspot in Hollywood today, but word on the street is, few people actually knew Whiteout was based on a comic. As always with comic book adaptations, I can go write at length about the differences in story between the comic and the film, but it’s pointless. If you’re going to see the film instead of spending...
Public Enemies
The Great Bank Robbery Starring: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale By Tom Bevis A few weeks ago, while waiting for some hazy matinee to begin, I started thinking about how we haven’t had a good mobster flick in a long time. Then, like a godsend, the trailers clicked on and lo-and-behold: Public Enemy. The trailer gives us a promise of a fast-paced, suspense-ridden film. The best part of it all, though, is that it’s based on one of the...
Revanche
Murder and Romance in Vienna Starring: Johannes Krisch, Ursula Strauss By Tom Bevis Revanche is one of those films that’s incredibly hard to describe because not only does the storyline cover a lot of material, but there are at least a dozen different themes and motifs at work in the narrative. Director Gotz Spielmann, who admits that he “likes a lot of emotions, [and] hates kitsch and sentimentality,” understands the power of themes...
