J. Edgar
Does this Movie Come with an Ejection Seat? Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts Review written by Robert Patrick Warner Brothers should have renamed J. Edgar “Watch Clint Eastwood Fall Asleep at the Wheel”. This historical biopic about the advent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation is terse, rife with plasticity, and about as warm as an insulated container of liquid hydrogen. Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, in an...
Love Crime
Uneventful Manipulation; Boring Outcome Starring: Ludivine Sagnier, Kristin Scott Thomas Review written by Robert Patrick Alain Corneau’s swansong is a little bit of Scooby Doo, a whole lot of melodrama, and a little bit of repressed erotica. “Love Crime”, at its core, is about Christine (Kristin Scott Thomas), a stiff-lipped big wig of a multinational company whose manipulative and serpentine tongue wags viciously....
Brighton Rock
Switchblades and John Hurt Starring: Sam Riley, Helen Mirren Review by Robert Patrick “Brighton Rock”, first published in 1938, was a product of the quill pen wielding Graham Green, whose work, sordid as it was, brought about a couple of gangter odysseys starring Pinkie Brown, a young brute with a mop of hair that spilled over his forehead like a young Jimmy Cagney. “Brighton Rock”, here, in its second film...
Point Blank
Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife Starring: Gilles Lellouche, Roschdy Zem Review by Robert Patrick “Point Blank” is the ground beef of the meat market, if we’re measuring quality, and there is little doubt that the film borrows everything from “The Bourne Identity” and “Run Lola Run” to Sega’s Sonic the Hedgehog. “Point Blank” has a pretty standard plot: nurse’s pregnant...
The Green Hornet
Introducing Kato And His Sidekick Starring: Seth Rogan, Jay Chou Review by Sam Wood I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m not usually a Seth Rogen fan. For whatever reason his brand of comedy hasn’t done much for me. I’ll also add that, given my age, I did not listen to the Green Hornet radio show in the ‘30s and ‘40s, nor did I watch the short-lived television show in the ‘60s. So, all of that being said, I was pleasantly...
All Good Things
Look Out, Gosling Hates Bookshelves! Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Ryan Gosling Written by Robert Patrick I had not seen Kirsten Dunst for sometime. I had thought she was in the belly of a whale somewhere. Perhaps the actress was busy toiling away on a time machine to go back and undo “Marie Antoinette”. Then I hear about this movie, “All Good Things”. I hear that it has Ryan Gosling in it, that Kirsten Dunst may or...
I Love You Phillip Morris
Catch Me If You…Meh…Don’t Bother Starring: Ewan McGregor, Jim Carrey Written by Robert Patrick I saw this movie a little over a month ago, maybe less. If “The Talented Mr. Ripley” was directed by the guy who did those Enzyte commercials with the plastic-faced “Smilin’ Bob” character, you would have “I Love You Phillip Morris”. The tone is daffy, light hearted, exuberantly...
The Town
Opening A Can in Beantown Starring: Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner By Robert Patrick I love Boston crime films. Everyone has a faded Red Sox hat on, some sort of sleeve tattoo of Ireland, and a gravy-tongued accent. Ben Affleck, whose career is marbled with more fat than a cheap cut of steak, only makes good films when they are set in the clover city of Massachusetts, his hometown. The less sociopathic Affleck brother is a pretty great...
Mesrine: Killer Instinct
Slimiest Critters: Not the Brightest Starring: Vincent Cassel, Cecile De France By Robert Patrick Jacques Mesrine is the smarmiest, ugliest, cruelest baddie to fire up a cigarette. I would imagine if thrown into a pit of snakes, they would slither away from this guy. Vincent Cassel plays the sociopath Mesrine with a fiery temperament and a uneven stagger. The thespian goes head first into the syrupy world of guns, drugs, femme fatales...
The Killer Inside Me
If Patrick Bateman Were a Deputy… Starring: Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba By Robert Patrick Lou Ford tips his hat, as if to drain water from the brim, every time he meets someone. Ford is a deputy sheriff whose compact structure and waxy grin make him a seemingly generic authority figure in a small Texas town. But underneath his sheath of southern pleasantries and congenial mannerisms lies a man who has the moral compass of a...
