The Oscars: Who Should Host Them
The following individuals are, from what I can tell, the best candidates to get dolled up, slouch around, behave cantankerously while at the bejeweled ceremony of the Oscars. Some celebrities didn’t make the cut, unfortunately, but here are the notable mentions: Gary Busey’s hair, Judge Reinhold in a jogging suit, my neighbor’s dog, a bowl of oatmeal. After a strenuous process of elimination, here are my choices to...
The Tree
Somebody Get a Chainsaw, Fast Starring: Charlotte Gainsbourg, Morgana Davies Review written by Robert Patrick “The Tree” is offensive. Not even Green Peace people would care if this wooden stake was unearthed from the ground. This movie is a malady, deserving of every acrid spitball fired at its indulgent limbs. It’s hard to sheath my anger when speaking of “The Tree.” Dumb comedies can be lacquered with...
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Scarier than Dunston Checks In Starring: James Franco, CGI Review written by Robert Patrick You get the impression that “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is less a movie and more of a trailer, especially considering, when all is said and done, that the film sets the table for an innumerable amount of sequels and prequels. Not much happens in “Rise,” until the very end of the picture, and we’re left to wait for the next installment of...
Interview w/ The Wooden Birds
Andrew Kenny’s achingly ethereal voice whittles away your preconceptions about what a band, emotionally, is capable of doing. The singer-songwriter has been a workhorse when it comes to traveling coast-to-coast – he has done it practically nonstop – throughout his career; if you tracked the flight lines across the United States it would look like a cat’s cradle. Kenny, whose fame came from the critically lauded...
Beats Rhymes & Life
Your Favorite Emcee’s Favorite Emcees Review written by Robert Patrick The nasally, warbling voice of Michael Rapaport would, for many people who are only mildly familiar with his work, be an unlikely voice for the hip-hop community. Strangely, when Rapaport isn’t playing ill-fated characters in films (he has died more times than Kenny from “South Park” throughout the myriad of movies that he has been in), his...
License to Ill: Shock Corridor
“Shock Corridor” buzzes and snaps, jostles your cerebral cortex and plays dominos with your expectations. In this monochrome world where sweat is the dew of molting sanity, Sam Fuller pumps the tires of this movie with characters that I wouldn’t expect to see in 2010, let alone 1963. The stogie chomping auteur really let the floodgates open with his bug-eyed tale of a reporter whose goal was to infiltrate a mental...
A Better Life Through Anger
When you search for Brian Cox’s name on Google, the first name rolls out of the engine, like some sort of binary die, is a British particle physicist of unknown importance. How does this joker get top billing on the marquee of life when there is only room for one Brian Cox – and some toddling English professor is not the one I’m talking about (especially when he looks like Chris Walla of Death Cab for Cutie). The...
Interview w/ Freezepop
Listening to Freezepop is akin to watching a rainbow perform harakiri; neon colors jut out everywhere. The band’s sound is a dichotomy of saccharine and cyanide, a swandive into a pool of glitter and reverb. Freezepop’s lead singer, the multitalented Liz Enthusiasm, pulls back snarky syllables with the bowstrings of her lips as she feathers them through the band’s musical compositions. How can you not like...
Interview w/ Motopony
Motopony’s frontman, Daniel Blue, lulls out achingly barrel-aged vocals on the band’s self-titled record. The airy and yet splintered delivery of Blue is reminiscent of Neil Young’s rasp and Bon Iver’s maimed whispers. The salted-emotions of Blue and company aren’t epigenuous as they seem, and, by merit of their minimalist compositions, crawl and brood under the surface of the band’s warbling...
Interview w/ Wild Beasts
Wild Beasts’ lyrics aren’t stymied by cloyingly banal word choices, instead they are aplomb with unique textures and colorful petals. And while the band’s lyrics can be pleasantly barbed, the delivery of the words, sung with aloof playfulness and sometimes even carnaptious snark, come off as fascinating as they are multilayered and rich. Wild Beasts’ love for all things literary is evident, as their subject matter...
