Suicide Squad
Plenty of people have posted their opinions everywhere regarding Leto’s performance and the lengths he went to to get into character. I’m glad they edited most of his scenes out of the final film. His Joker is a makeup smeared mess.
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi
Starring: John Krasinski, Pablo Schreiber Review written by Robert D. Patrick “Bang-bang, pow-pow, pew-pew” – Michael Bay giving his actors direction on the set of this film. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi isn’t exactly a title that deals in the currency of brevity. More than a film’s moniker, it sounds like a marked down Tom Clancy video game – and, sometimes throughout the bullet...
The Hateful Eight
Crude Grit Starring: Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson Review written by Robert D. Patrick Beginning with a suffocating, taut score that is so tight it leaves rope burns, Quentin Tarantino’s blood flecked roadshow of cigar masticating hate refuses to bury the lead. The dialogue, per usual, is a cat’s cradle of gasoline and saliva charged machismo. Every garish syllable spewed is a sizzling wick for future carnage. To say too...
Legend
Multiplici-ZzZzs Starring: Tom Hardy, Tom Hardy Review written by Robert D. Patrick Legend may be billed as a liquor-lacquered, knuckle-thumping barrage of brogue and barrels, but the film has a neutered temperament and a barely palpitating heart. Tom Hardy is present, growling in a thick cockney accent that would put curdled milk to shame. But behind the frame of this classic car are the pedals of a Big Wheel. Director Brian...
Mad Max: Fury Road
Cars 3: Car-cass Starring: Charlize Theron, Tom Hardy Review written by Robert D. Patrick Windshields are matted by fingerprints, rust-colored sand envelopes the world, and blood specked incisors tear away at any semblance of humanity. Director George Miller’s easel is made of bones and sinew, the canvas lacquered with saliva and sweat. Mad Max: Fury Road is punctuated with filleted wheel rubber and scudding gasoline. With his...
Unbroken
Dad Bait: The Movie Starring: Jack O’Connoll, Takamasa Ishihara Review written by Robert D. Patrick Chapped, sun-braised lips and unbridled suffering? It must be December, because the saliva slacked maws and welted skin is in full effect just in time for Oscar season. Clint Eastwood’s Unbroken – – – I mean Ron Howard’s Unbroken – – – I mean Angelina Jolie’s Unbroken is a...
Godzilla
Pacific Commotion Starring: Bryan Cranston, Aaron Taylor-Johnson Review written by Tom Bevis In the last sixty years, Godzilla has become a cultural phenomenon widely cherished by fans worldwide. Following the release of Gojira in 1954, the King of Monsters has spun off into dozen of films, television shows, video games, and comic books (including a series of Marvel cross-overs) and has perhaps become the most recognizable of all...
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Red, White and Bruise Starring: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson Review written by Tom Bevis At this point, the films coming out of Marvel Studios need no introduction. Thanks to the irresistible and insatiable curiosity of the masses and the infinitely long reach of this wonderfully infamous machine we call the Internet, it seems all details of the films are readily available weeks prior to the actual opening. To those who have been...
Sabotage
One Man Arnie Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington Review written by Tom Bevis When The Last Stand struck theaters nearly a year ago with gallons of cantankerous nostalgia and high-octane grit, many folks on the streets were speculating whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger would be pitching his tent in Hollywood and focusing on reestablishing his acting career full-time. Even back then, I maintained that The Last Stand...
Need for Speed
The ‘A’-Team Starring: Aaron Paul, Imogen Poots Review written by Robert D. Patrick Need for Speed is a testosterone-shot in the form of tenderized rubber and knuckle-numbing abandon. Based on the video game franchise of the same name, this juiced up opus about vigilante justice will be a surefire hit with wrench-heads and action junkies alike. The story isn’t excruciatingly clever – Syd Field is probably...
