Colin Firth: The New Whimsy
Starring: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush
Written by Robert Patrick
I wanted the title of this review to be “Colin Firth is Adorable; Makes Doe-Eyed Expressions”, but then I thought I could also go with “English People Look Regal; Walk Around Haplessly”. I decided against both, but managed, despite it being entirely inconsequential, to [...]
Bale Good; Wahlberg Bad
Starring: Christian Bale, Mark Wahlberg
Written by Robert Patrick
Boxing movies always seem to contain a certain formula. This formula, like motor oil, helps the engine run better, more efficiently. You always need a woman, who apprehensively suggests that you should go for your goals, though she is quietly pulling out her nails as [...]
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Written by Robert Patrick
George Fox aka Client-9 aka Eliot Spitzer has more pseudonyms than a cold war spy. These politicians, day traders and wall street moguls are so colorful they make a rainbow look monochrome. I think of comic-book characters like Two-Face and Kingpin, snickering and gallivanting around these crosshatched and seedy [...]