The Hades River known as Twitter is mostly awful. Acerbic trolls slither behind avatars of esoteric cartoon characters. Dudes that look like 1996 Ethan Hawke want to explain things to women, using haughty and negligent language that makes all sentient – and rational – people want to swandive off a cliff. These weird, cymbal clanging wind-up toys even exasperated celebrated author Lindy West to the point of leaving the website. She was one of the few beacons in the otherwise hissing night of this terrible goddamn place. Now an ever increasing peanut gallery of alt-right sociopaths and “matter of fact” white dudes are bandying around the social network, and I’m over here praying that someone tents the place.
Luckily, there are still a few marvelous accounts worth following (for now). When it comes to music, bands take advantage of Twitter’s reliable expediency as a simple way of posting show dates or record release information. And while the site still serves as an incredible resource for artists to interact with followers, upload show photographs, and inform fans about new merchandise, some musicians have decided to use the outlet the way the weirdo Gods have intended: self-effacing jokes, cultural observations, and pertinent dialogue about sketchy journalism.
being a girl in a band is just like being a boy in a band except people ask you more dumb questions
— Summer Cannibals (@SCannibalsBand) September 27, 2016
Quite a few artists have amazing accounts (Brooklyn’s Sharkmuffin is right up there), but Summer Cannibals have taken the coveted title of “Best Twitter Account Run by a Musician” and summarily ran with it. Jessica Boudreaux of the Portland based band not only posits existential queries on the site, but she also talks, sincerely, about deviled eggs and flare leg jeans. Occasionally posts a Laura Dern gif. And lies awake at night thinking about the life expectancy of pizza rat. This account is the only real levity we have left in America, a country that has basically become the boiler room of the Titanic.
With both looming political maleficence on the horizon and an exhausting breadth of dude-bros on Twitter, we’re relying solely on Summer Cannibals to save us all. No big deal or w/e.