I Want a New Drug
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Bartha
By Robert Patrick
Jesse Eisenberg’s persona is that of the skittish intellectual. His tongue sputters like the dying propeller of a old bi-plane whenever he attempts to make modest conversation. And he shares an uncanny, unshakable likeness to the more celebrated gawkiness of Michael Cera. Both have gangly [...]
It’s Not Road House, But…
Starring: Brigitte Helm, Gustav Frohlich
By Robert Patrick
I can see the 25 minutes of lost “Metropolis” footage, in all of its holy glory, being unearthed from a dusty vault in Argentina. In the background, much like an “Indiana Jones” movie, a John Williams score inundates the scene with acute tension. The 16 [...]
Almost Almost Famous?
Starring: Russell Brand, Jonah Hill
By Colleen Dillon
Jonah Hill always has the coolest adventures. I especially envied him in Superbad; going to college parties and smuggling out alcohol in laundry detergent containers wasn’t exactly the type of experience I had in high school. The next logical step in this epic progression takes him from [...]